


Acceptance

by cc tinslebee (Doitlikeagreaser)



Series: The Billy Hargrove Files [2]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Good Sibling Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Hurt Steve Harrington, Maxine "Max" Mayfield Needs a Hug, Mentioned Eleven - Freeform, Mentioned Robin/Heather, Other, Past Character Death, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, giving Max and Steve the grieving/healing scene that the Duffer Brothers are too coward to give you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25052596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doitlikeagreaser/pseuds/cc%20tinslebee
Summary: "That was... a lot.""Yeah."In which Max Mayfield and Steve Harrington come to terms with their grief on the anniversary of Billy Hargrove’s death.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington & Maxine "Max" Mayfield
Series: The Billy Hargrove Files [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1468174
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be clear for those of you reading this fic as a stand-alone, the parts about Steve grieving Billy can either be read as platonic or romantic; so in this fic, it's up for interpretation. If you're anti-harringrove (either platonic or romantic), please do not interact with this fic. This is for people who either want to see Max and Steve come to terms with their grief and/or people who want to see them platonically bond over it. Anyway. thank you for your time and shouldw you choose to continue, enjoy the fic!

“That was… a lot.”  
“Yeah.”

Max Mayfield and Steve Harrington sat in a dark room in the empty Harrington house, the only source of light coming from the now dark television screen where Billy Hargrove’s face once was.

“How long have you had this?” Steve asked, hesitantly.

“A year or so,” Max shrugged. “I… _El_ and I found it when she helped me go through his things. I held onto it for days before I actually watched it. I’ve been sitting on showing it to anyone else for--”

“A year?”  
“Yeah.”

Steve sighed heartily, “I mean, I guess I would’ve done the same if I was in your shoes. We all experienced a really traumatic event and seeing that right after it…” He quickly added, “But had it been me who found it for some reason, I probably would have shown it to you much sooner since you’re his stepsister--”

“It’s okay, Steve,” Max assured him. “You don’t have to justify yourself.”

“Right.”

They sat in silence for a while after that, the static from the television gradually being consistent white noise to them. They avoided looking at each other as they both contemplated what they just saw.

“It’s been a year,” Steve said finally, barely above a whisper, but just loud enough for Max to catch. “It’s been a year and I… I don’t think I’ve actually registered that he’s gone.”

Max dared to look at him finally and saw that Steve Harrington was crying. He was all sniffles and wiping the tears quickly as they formed in his eyes, but Max recognised the sobs. She had made those exact noises, those exact moves to hide the pain from the person next to her, that being Eleven at the time. Steve’s entire body shook as the tears continued to spill at such a rapid rate that he could not keep up with wiping them away before they passed his nose. Steve had denied himself of grieving for an entire year and it all built up for the moment he finally acknowledged the death. Which, inevitably, was now.

Max wasn’t entirely sure how to comfort someone who was pretty much an adult. It was not like she ever could comfort Billy when he was around; he always was too much of a ‘man’s man’ to ever accept her help. All she knew how to do in that moment was place a hand on Steve’s shoulder and hope for the best.

Steve almost immediately sniffled and wiped his face quickly before looking at her, “I’m sorry, Max. I shouldn’t be-- I shouldn’t be crying about him. You lost more than I’ll ever know.”

She squeezed his shoulder as gently as she could, “And that’s a good enough reason to cry. I knew Billy at his worst and at his less-bad, which you could almost call his best. You never got the chance to know him like I did; like _he_ wanted you to, if that tape is any indication. You think Billy changed his behavior for _me?_ Nah, he did it because of you. 

“He took a job that’s sole purpose is to _help people,_ which is _totally_ out of character for the Billy Hargrove that you knew. He took that job because he missed Cali and because he wanted to prove how macho he was. _But,_ he also took it to help people, and because he knew that at the end of the day, he could go to _Scoops Ahoy_ and you’d be there.” Max chuckled to herself, “I think you knocked some sense into him when you two beat the shit out of each other at the Byers’.”

“That was _you_ who knocked some sense into him, mind you,” Steve reminded her. He furrowed his brow, “But he only ever taunted me when he went to _Scoops.”_

“Yeah, doofus, that’s just how Billy was,” Max teased. “He didn’t know how else he could communicate with you, so he stuck with what had worked with you before: banter.”

“Like the time he showed up without a shirt and in flip-flops despite the ‘No shirt, no shoes, no service’ sign?”  
“That’s right. He always carried a shirt with him; he just wanted to see you squirm to have to remind him yet _again_ ,” Max smiled reminiscently. “Billy was always bad with communicating.”

Steve snorted and wiped the corner of his eye, “I’ll bet.”

A more comfortable silence fell upon them this time.

“I thought…” Steve trailed, hesitantly, “I thought I saw him look at me before he… you know. I know that seems silly and my mind is probably just trying to fill in the blanks of that moment, but I _swore_ I saw him look up at me. It didn’t look like it was out of disdain or anything else; it was like he was checking on me, making sure I was there.”

“It’s hard to say if he did though, right?” Max continued. “So much was happening all in the span of those few minutes, and trauma messes with your memories and all.” She shrugged, “Maybe he did take a moment to look for you. I wouldn’t put it past him. If he could reserve eight to ten minutes of clear headspace just to talk to _us,_ then why wouldn’t he look for you before that moment he was free?”

Steve nodded and fell silent again, looking down at his hands as he rubbed them together.

“I saved the Camaro,” Max added eventually. “Fixed it too, even though it took a year and a little too much trial and error.”

“That’s to be expected when you have limited knowledge on cars,” Steve reassured her. “I’ve had my license for two, maybe three years now? The most I’ve ever done was crash it into another one.”

“That’s the reason I had to fix it,” Max snorted.

“Oh, yeah,” Steve remembered, bashfully. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. Billy loved that thing, but if anyone had to run into it, I think we’d both be glad that it was you.”

Steve smiled a little.

“Hey, this might sound a little crazy, but…” Max started cautiously, “When I’m old enough, will you help me learn how to drive it?”

Steve sat up slightly, “Seriously?”  
“I mean, if you want to--”  
“Max, of course I’ll teach you how to drive!” Steve exclaimed, considerably lighter than earlier. His eyes were still a little watery and puffy, but they gleamed with what looked like pride.

Max smiled almost unconsciously before her expression shifted to a realisation. “That reminds me, I wanted to give you something--”  
She dug through her pocket, pulling out a necklace with a charm on the end of it and placing it gently into Steve’s unstretched palm.

“Billy’s Virgin Mary,” Steve gasped. “You… found it?”  
Max shrugged, “I managed to find it before his body… disappeared.”

Steve marveled at the pennant in his hand before shaking his head humbly, “Max, I couldn’t possibly take this from you-- You gave me his jean jacket last year when you went through his things. Billy would have wanted you to have this--”  
“I have the _Camaro,”_ Max reminded him, “and the leather jacket and all of his other decent clothes. That’s more than enough. I know you two had your differences, but I think if anything else, he would at least want you to have something small of his. The Camaro has an attachment to me, and this pennant has an attachment to _you.”_

She was right, even if she didn't know for sure. The pennant was pretty much there everytime Steve saw Billy. The first time he saw him in the parking lot at school; the basketball game in gym class; even when he was getting the shit kicked out of him, he saw that Virgin Mary dangling just a little bit above him. Hell, even when Billy didn't even bother to put a _shirt_ on, he always had the pennant.

"Are you sure you want to give it to me?" Steve asked, concern written all over his face.

"I've never been more sure of something in my life," Max confirmed. "And that's saying something. If you'll remember, I held a bat in between my brother's legs and threatened him. That was all adrenaline."

"That's how I end up doing most of what I do," Steve laughed. "But thank you, Max. I may not have been able to know him as well as you did, but I think he would be proud of the fine young person you've turned out to be."

"I hope so," Max smiled smally. "He'd probably be happy that I didn't turn out like him."

Steve sat back again, "Yeah."

"You know, Steve, after Billy died, I was really angry for a long time," she confessed. "Not like... Billy-angry, but still angry. I was grateful that El got to live because of him; we all did. He saved us all and that proved that there was something good in him. I was angry because he never showed the world that. Neil wouldn't let him and eventually neither would Billy. He emotionally closed himself off to everyone and he had so much _potential.”_

She sniffled, "I know that must sound weird coming from someone four years younger than him, but he did. You two could have been friends or whatever, and I could have had a brother. Hell, maybe he would have even gotten along with El. But we'll never know because he had to play the hero."

"Ironic for someone with a large amount of anti-hero undertones, huh?" Steve mused even though his own tears started building up again.

Max let out a laugh as tears spilled from her own eyes, "Yeah, ironic."

"Alright, so I had the denial, you had the anger," Steve thought, lightly, "How are we going to do the whole bargaining-depression-acceptance thing?"

Max snorted, "Way ahead of you, buddy. I think we're already at step five."

Steve smiled, "Yeah?"

Max nodded, "Yeah."

Steve straightened his posture again, "Can I give you a ride home?"

"Would you? That would be great," Max pushed herself off of the floor and stood up.

"You sure it's going to be safe for you?" Steve made sure to ask.

"Yeah, Neil should be gone for the night, so it's just my mom and me," Max verified.

Steve nodded, "You can head to the car, if you want. I just need to grab my keys."

"Okay," Max nodded and ran off to the passenger seat of Steve's car.

Steve smiled fondly as he watched her scamper off. He stole a look at the Virgin Mary in his palm, tracing it carefully with his thumb. Steve then took a hold of either end of the necklace, admiring it before he hooked it around his neck, tucking it underneath his shirt for safe keeping. He grabbed his car keys off the counter and went out to his car to bring Max home.

Hoping into the driver’s seat, Steve couldn’t help but laugh. “I can’t _believe_ he almost slept with Mrs. Wheeler. Like, she’s my ex-girlfriend’s _mom;_ that is _so_ weird!”

Max shrugged her head and cracked an odd smile, “It is kind of disgusting. Lady has three kids, even if she _were_ younger, it seems kind of weird for her to be hooking up with a teenager like Billy.”

Steve snorted as he turned the ignition, “I’ll say.”

As Steve started to pull out of the driveway, Max spoke up again.

"We should visit his grave sometime," she said, more seriously than before. "I know _he's_ technically not there, but it might be nice to pay our respects."

Steve kept his eyes on the road, but nodded with certainty, "We should definitely do that sometime." He paused for a moment, hesitantly, "Is it all right if I brought Robin along when we do that?"

"Sure. Why?"

"She apparently kind of had a thing with his co-worker Heather over the summer, and she's been wanting to visit her too," Steve replied, quietly.

Max's expression lit up, "Yeah, of course she can come with!"

Steve smiled to himself, "She'll be glad to hear that. She's always kind of admired you, y'know."

"Really?" Max's eyes widened.

"Yeah, she always thought you were refreshing from those idiotic boys."

Max chuckled, "I'll say."

When Steve dropped Max off at her house, they parted still missing the same boy, but feeling a little better about the world in front of them. Max curled up in that leather jacket that was several sizes too big for her and fell asleep more soundly than she had in months. Steve kept that Virgin Mary close to his heart and stayed up just a little bit longer, though he ended up passing out on the couch.

And at that moment, with both of them sound asleep, somewhere something big was going to happen. They just didn't know it yet.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, please leave a kudos! Comments and feedback are much appreciated, but please keep it positive! Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a great day!


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